sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
