You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
