i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
