remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
