Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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