I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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