Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How external is "for external use only"?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize