We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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