I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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