So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
