Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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