you guys were way drunker than both of me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
