I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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