im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
