Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
