All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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