I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
