So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
