If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize