My nipple is on Facebook.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
