i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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