So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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