just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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