Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
