I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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