you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
