Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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