i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He passed out mid-signature
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
