return my video game
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
