YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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