No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
