that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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