dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
