So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
