I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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