drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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