I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
