yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
