you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
