Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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