If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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