my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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