I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
