Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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