tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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