u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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