Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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