I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
