I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Mom said you looked used
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
