she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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