She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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