Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
