Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My hand turned me down
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
