There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
