And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
