If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
In America we eat man semen.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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