I want to have your abortion
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
