Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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