rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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