I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just tell him i said nine months
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize