Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
40s are totally the cure
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
