I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
