hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
That reminds me...we need to get swords
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize