Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.