If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
