Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
