Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

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  (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom http://tfl.nu/lat0
  Replies (180) Good night (36466) Bad night (4990)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

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  (843): plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone. http://tfl.nu/rlid
  Replies (69) Good night (4921) Bad night (598)
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  (209): View more from California

  he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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  (209): he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period http://tfl.nu/tso5
  Replies (217) Good night (1381) Bad night (28775) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"

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  (513): well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment" http://tfl.nu/5a1z
  Replies (6) Good night (992) Bad night (3536) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

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  (650): I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'. http://tfl.nu/1o2s
  Replies (18) Good night (849) Bad night (2784) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.

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  (815): Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight. http://tfl.nu/jud2
  Replies (14) Good night (4938) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am full of burrito and curiosity

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  (602): I am full of burrito and curiosity http://tfl.nu/k856
  Replies (24) Good night (5271) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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  (734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70
  Replies (11) Good night (4271) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.

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  (406): i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/lrt6
  Replies (5) Good night (3616) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.

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  (707): Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car. http://tfl.nu/kt4h
  Replies (13) Good night (4137) Bad night (2143) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.

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  (814): You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done. http://tfl.nu/ojtz
  Replies (31) Good night (2799) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

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  (307): We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger. http://tfl.nu/ajz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1372) Bad night (321)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"

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  (843): That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion" http://tfl.nu/omtf
  Replies (9) Good night (306) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.

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  (310): I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/mh99
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.

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  (515): He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/kc12
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt

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