I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
