What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal