I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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